I am sitting here in Pittsburgh pondering over how quickly time seems to fly by. I am enjoying my time with my son, his girlfriend and their children. Who would have ever pictured this. I watched last night as they all interacted together. The kids are beautiful and the love they have for their mom and dad is tremendous. There was a time a long time ago.....................that we were doing the same thing. I thank God for the opportunity to be able do this now. What a wonderful gift God gives to us. It seems as though often we take all around us for granted. I speak for myself especially. I forget to enjoy what is rather than what I want it to be. Shame on me. And shame if I forget this blog and the message behind it. Every day is a special day. Happy Valentine's Day by the way.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I am sitting here relaxing and listening to Jim Brickman's christmas music. As I listen and enjoy, all I can think of is this past year and all of the wonderful memories I have gathered in my mind. It brings tears of joy to my eyes and to my heart. My family has been so special and so wonderful to me. I have been to Missouri, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Colorado and even here in Florida. All over the place. And why because of family. How much more blessed can you be? No matter where I have been I have felt the awesome power of love and unity. I love everyone so much that just trying to express it seems impossible. God is ever so wonderful and wise to have created such an awesome system of support. Thank you guys for your love and just being you.

Do you know what bugs me? When you do the right things because it is right and something not so right comes out of it. Let me tell you what is eating me.

Last week Christy called me and asked me to pray for her. She was scheduled to go for a job interview at a school to fill the nurse position. She has been working at the hospital since she graduated from nursing school in June. All this time it has been orientation to the various wards in the hospital. Depending on what ward she has been assigned to depended on what hours she worked and when. On one ward she might work an eight hour shift and another one 12. One might be morning another night. Alex is a teacher. So more often than not they were not getting to see each other awake for days at a time. So Christy had been searching for a different nursing job to get day hours and more time for her honey. This job came up and she went for the interview. She knew the pay would be less but the hours and the fact it was a school would be perfect for her and Alex. Apparently the school was happy with her interview. She went today and was told she had the job. (she explained that she would be available as of October 1 since she felt obligated to give the hospital a two week notice). Right after the interview she drove over to the hospital and went to her boss. She told her the good news.She told her that she was giving her two weeks notice and would like to stay on prn so she could work as needed as a fill in. The lady told her she had to make a phone call. When she came back she was not very nice. She told Christy that it was a waste for them to have had her do the orientation. And that as of then she was gone. She would not be able to stay on as a prn nurse because she had no experience (just orientation). Christy was scheduled to work tonight. But not anymore. Her comment to me was, " if I would have known they were going to do that I would have waited until October 1 and told them I was done but I was trying to nice and fair and this is what I got for it." It's a little hard to not feel she was right. Although what she did was the correct thing to do. I am furious that the hospital would treat her like that. She has alot to offer and they will be the ones to lose out on her talents and willingness to work. What a shame for them. But there is a bright side to this, Alex is going to get some home cooked meals again starting tonight!!!!!!

It sure has been a while since I have written on my blog. Not because I have not had things to share or nothing going on. OH MY!! I have been so busy in the past few months. And you know what? I loved every minute of it. My daughter and her husband came to visit here for a while. It was absolutely a wonderful visit. Every minute was ever so special to me. I love Christy and Alex so much. I miss not being near them. But thank you for memories and pictures.

I have been up to Pittsburgh and visited my family. I even had some of immediate family able to come and share the time with me. Life can be so precious and wonderful. I love getting to know my grandson(Kyle) whom I had only seen once since he was born. I found it quite touching that he was able to meet his cousin(David) for the first time too. It was awesome.

I also have traveled to Colorado. Woot! Woot! I can't explain how long I have wanted to go there. I enjoyed every minute of my visit. I went with my sister and brother in law. They are alot of fun to travel with!!!!Just picture as we pulled up in Jaci's garage, the door to the house being opened. And then these beautiful giggles and shreaks of delight as those beautiful children saw their "Nana & Papoo". Oh yes, that is exactly what happened.It brought tears of joy to my eyes. Any trip like that is utterly rewarding and worth it. Not only did I get a chance to visit with my exciting great nieces and nephew but also two very special wonderful nieces(Jaci & Geni) in my life (And of course a new well liked nephew in law(Jared)!!). I loved every minute of the few we had that weekend.

I have so much to be thankful for. I love all of my family. I thank God for the opportunities I have had to spend time with them and make memories ( and lots of pictures!) I am so blessed.

You know I just about daily read the blogs of my family. I am utterly amazed at the excellent ways they are able to express themselves. I think my whole family was destined to be writers. I read these blogs and I am so envious of how beautifully written their feelings and thoughts are phrased. It is a blessing to see that feelings can be truly and sincerely expressed. And how supportive and accepting those that read them are. It is simply amazing to me. And very good therapy.

Very often I will sign in with the intentions of expressing my feelings. I find though that as quickly as the computer allows me to make that entry, my mind goes blank or becomes frightened of actually letting people in to see me deep down inside. So I feel like this is a big risk but one I must take.

I have always been taught that expressing the positive views on things is very important in life. I believe that. As a matter a fact when you are able to be around someone who is like that, you can't help but to feel warmth and love from them. I have a friend that I met when I was in the military. I was very shy and quite unsociable. She never gave up on me and becoming a friend. After consistently beating at my door in the barracks almost every night inviting me to come down to the lounge with her, I got frustrated and did. From then on every opportunity we had we went and did things together. I did not have a driver license and she did not have a car but that never slowed her down from finding a way, via friend, cab etc. She was so upbeat and a fighter for life. She loved music, art, and family. She took me home to meet her family several times. They were so receptive and warm people. I loved them and I loved being with them. I could see why she was the great person she was. With a family like that...........why wouldn't you? I met a man and before long we were married. And although my friend was not fond of my choice she was there for me. She basically handled putting together a rather quick wedding. She made a beautiful wedding cake and even my dress. Not the traditional but very nice and quite lovely. Then I got out to the military and she stayed fin or a while. But she still stayed in touch and never quit searching for me when we continued to move all over the east coast. She came to visit everywhere I was. She was there when I had Tony and showed up after I had Lil. She would come visit at the holidays with tons of gifts not only from her but her family. She took Lil home for a few days with her when she was quite small. I had a hard time with that but I trusted her and knew she was in good hands. I struggled over the years trying to find some way to deal with my hyperactive and unruly son. She always found ways and means for me to work with him. She never gave up on him. And as the years went on and we lost touch........she would search until she found me again. And talk to me about my family as if she never had been gone. I loved her for that. I never had a friend who supported me in so many ways as she did. She knew me well. She knew what my weakneses were. She would do whatever to encourage and build me up. About 2 years ago she made contact with me. She told me she was moving to Florida not far from me. She and her husband were tired of the northeast and needed to be in warm weather. She made sure it was close to me so we could visit. I was excited to see her. I made a couple of visits to see them. I even came with Tony and even though he would fight me about going, he always had a good time with her and her husband. This was her second husband because she lost the first one to Lou Gehrigs disease. He was diagnosed with it a few months after they had married. He died a very slow and deteriorating life. She cared for him faithfully working 3 jobs to support them. She was amazing then and here with her second husband he had been hurt in 911. He was a fireman who was there that day trying to rescue people at the twin towers. He ended up losing a leg and becoming disabled in a wheel chair. You would never have known it if you didn't see him. He was as up and funny and loving as she was. They were perfect for each other. About a month ago she found out she had cancer. She did not know where and how serious. Never once did she beg me to come down. But she always said she understood that I was in the process of trying to fix up my house to sell and that things were really crazy. I got a call last night from her husband. Apparently the cancer was much more widespread than they knew. They found 2 types in her colon and liver. It is beyond catching. He said she is at home now with hospice assisting him. He said she is on pain medicene and is hallucinating all the time. Occassionally she comes to her senses. He is so heartbroken. They have only been married for 5 years. He said she is going very quickly. How does that happen?How can life be here and then gone? I am having such a hard time with the whole thing. I see it all the time. I know God has the whole picture in front of him. Don't you wish sometimes you could see the whole picture? She is a very special lady with so many admirable qualities.
She has to be special in God's eyes. I feel so fortunate that she came into my life for almost 28 years. I pray that the pain I experience right now will help me to be a better person to those that mean so much to me. If I can take just some of those wonderful qualities she unselfishly gave of herself and spread them to others, I will be so thankful. Pray for her and her husband. Pray that her life will not drag. She had expressed so often to me how sad and hard it was for her to watch the slow death her husband had suffered. How unfair it was to him. Pray that God takes this special woman and helps to ease the pain her husband now is feeling. I love her so much. I so glad we have God to rely on. I am so thankful that some day we won't have to wonder and be sad about people we love when they leave us. I want to sit with God and see that big picture and be amazed by his greatness and wisdom. He is just awesome.

Well, it is evening. I am sitting here just looking at all kinds of pictures on the computer. I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful family. I love them all. I hate the distance that is between us but I feel so close and warm when I think about them.

I talked to Lil on the phone today. They have to be in Virginia by February 21. She is trying hard to stay calm about the move. There is so much to do and so little time in which to do it. I think it is coming to a realization that the comfort zone and familiarity that they have become accustomed to are about to disappear. They will be in new and different surroundings. Adjusting to parenthood is a big adjustment on its own. But there will be many more adjustments to make. Lil is already worried about if she will like David's new doctor. He is due to have his first set of shots Feb 19 there. I hear the worries of a new mother. I remember so well the concerns. She told me last night she started stressing out really bad to the point of tears. Adam stopped what he was doing and they sat with David and prayed. You know, what more could you ask for. I too will keep them in my prayers. I pray for their move to be as smooth as possible. I pray that Adam will love his job and that it will be all that they had hoped for. I pray that they don't have to struggle finding a house or place to stay. That it will be a nice neighborhood with caring people. And I pray they will unite and stay strong and supportive of each other. And I know that the Lord is with them and will continue to bless them and help them.

I am so happy for Ceal and Joe right now. They have been able to make a trip to Denver to see Jaci and Jarred and the kids. They love them so much. I have been so impressed with the love and the dedication I see in Ceal and Joe to their family. It makes me cry with happiness. I am glad they have been able to have some time. I wish we all lived closer to one another so it could be more frequently that these visits can be made. They are what keep us going. I thank God for the opportunities he blesses us with. I pray we never take them for granted. I wish love and happiness to Jaci, Jarred and those beautiful children.I pray that their adjustments to their new surroundings are easy and smooth. I see two dedicated parents who will take good care of those precious children. What pleasure that gives me.

I pray for all of our children out there. I miss them all. I love them all very much. I just can't seem to say it enough. I want happiness and success for everyone. I want strength and stamina to be in all of us as we travel through this life. We have so much to be thankful for.

I am up and getting ready for my trip. My stomach has butterflies just a fluttering in it. Is this for real or am I in a dream? If that is the case, don't wake me up because I am loving it.

Okay now I am really wild!!! I am a grandmother!! As of 3:29pm EST David made his presence known to his mommy & daddy and the whole family. How great God is!!! I know my time is coming to see him. I got to talk to Lil and Adam and Christy on the phone tonight. While I was on the phone with Christy they brought David into the room. He said HELLO to me over the phone. Ok so maybe it wasn't hello but OMG feed me!!!! I loved it.

Christmas is in the air. In 4 days I will be on my way to see my kids again. I am so excited. Lil is due anyday now. It could happen before I get there or after I get there. All I know for sure is that I feel very blessed. What a special Christmas and memories there will be. I just can't wait.

Well, my sister and I put up the Christmas tree last night. It was so much more fun to get to do it with her than all my myself. I have fought for several years now on even putting it up. But this year was so different. We did a very good job. I love to sit in the living room with it dark and just watch the tree. Christmas is such a special time of year. The feelings you have are so different than any other time. I love my family. I am so thankful for the change this year. There is so much excitement and anticipation this year. Between births, Christmas and birthdays. Wow we have lots to be thankful for. God is just so good to us.

It is 8:30am I am up and giving myself a pep talk for the busy schedule I have planned today. I am very excited. My family is coming home. I guess until yesterday my faith in it really happening was not very strong. But at this time yesterday morning I got a call from my sister saying they were sitting in the Los Angeles airport waiting for their flight to take off for San Diego. Oh my gosh!!! It was true and happening!!! Oh how absolutely wonderful is that.

So now all the procrastination I have done will prove to make my weekend quite the challenge. We had about 2 1/2 weeks worth of rain. Because the ground has been so soggy, I could not cut my grass. So my first project this morning will be big and major. (As I made my way down my street last night coming home from work, every neighbor on the block had already cut their grass. Just mine looked like it was unkept and overgrown. I was so jealous.) Then once I have accomplished this great feat I will move on to running all errands. Once that is done comes working in the house to make room, space and a welcome home environment for my special family. How I have missed them. And how I never thought this would happen again. I feel so blessed. AND AM I EVER EXCITED. Have I said that before?

Ok I got lots to do. I got to run. What a wonderful day!!! I hope everyone's will be that way.

Here it is 9/11/07. Six years ago today life changed drastically for many people. If you ask people what they were doing that day, most can remember exactly. I had been having trouble with a frozen shoulder and was sitting in an doctor's office waiting to be seen. Gosh it is as if it just happened. The memories are so real and livid. It's a great thing to know that this world is not our real home and that in time we will no longer have to deal with this. I pray for people throughout the world to find their way and let God be their guide. Thank you for my family and life I have been allowed to live. Let me never take it for granted nor take others for granted. God bless us all.

Well it is the second day of my three holiday. I should be getting ready for church so this will be short. I had a nice day yesterday up until the evening. I rarely choose to go off just for the fun of it. I was running down to Best Buy to pick up a piece of software for the computer that I was wanting to purchase and kept debating on doing it. I decided to go by Bath and Body and treat myself to a new container of the body cream that I was just about out of. Then the plan was to go get my groceries for the week at the store before coming on home. My car would not start in the parking lot at the mall. I had been having trouble with it back about 5 months ago. I thought the problem had been taken care of. It has power but doesn't even make a sound like it is trying to start up. I have a bad habit of panicking as soon as things like that happen. I tried real hard to keep my cool and just wait a couple of minutes and try again. I was trying to think of who I could call to come and get me. I prayed hard for help. And it did eventually start up. It naturally made me want to go directly home and not go any where again. So here I am this morning up wondering if I will make it to church. How in the world do you stop worrying about things? I know God tells us not to worry and I know that is true. But I just can't seem to grasp the concept and not lose sleep over things. Help.

Ok this is my first day since I have been back from Hawaii that things have actually begun to remind me it is over. I had a wonderful visit from my daughter during Mother's Day weekend. It is so special to get to spend time with her. Something we just don't get opportunity to do anymore. It is amazing to me how much she has grown up. She has become one fantastic lady with so much to offer. It makes me proud.



Today I got the privelage to go back to my routine of cutting my grass. As I was doing it and cussing (not really cussing I guess complaining) I decided that I want two things in life. One is to have a chauffeur and a car already paid for and all maintenace taken care of like it should be. The other is someone who can cut my grass and do all the landscaping I want and of course take care of it. I hate cutting the grass. And I have had such bad luck with people running into me and then either the police leave or let the responsible party leave. You know,I have always had a fear of driving. I did not get my license until I was 20 years old. Even then I avoided it like the plague. It was not until I was in the process of my divorce that I was forced to do more of it. From then on I have had my trials and tribulations with it. I guess that's just part of having that privelage. I know of a couple of more mature people who are no longer allowed to drive due to their ages. It is so sad and very frustrating for them. It breaks my heart when I see them unhappy but I know it is best for them. I am not sure I want to be at that point. So if I get the chauffeur maybe I won't!!!!



So I guess the let down of getting back from vacation, my daughter going back home and starting the long season of grass cutting has sparked something in me. Let's see how constructive I can be!!!

I just came back from a very enjoyable trip. It is called spending quality time with your family. Something we seem to take for granted more often than not. However when you don't have it you miss it. I thought I had always missed it but not as much as I do now. I have some very special people who are a very important part of my life. They are so precious and so dear. I found that no matter where we are as long as we are together it is just great. I have so much to be thankful for. It was such an honor to be able to share time with them. Jaci and Geni, my how you have grown up! You are so wonderful and amazing. I think back to when you were small and what pleasure you brought to my life. I sat back these vacation days and watched as you brought even more pleasure and love to everyone. You are beautiful and offer so much. Thanks for letting me get to know you again. To see you in action and appreciate the moments. Ceal, we are always together whether it is as "shadows" or long distance. You are a gigantic part of my heart and that I know is what keeps me going. If you only realized how special you are. Thanks for letting me come and thanks for every single moment we had together. I sit back now and can see and hear all of the fun times we had. It makes me cry tears of joy for the precious people in my life. If you have family around, make every moment count. Love them and cherish them.

This is my second attempt with creating a blog. I am not sure what is suppose to go here. I have had one of the best weeks ever. My sister and her husband were able to visit me. It's funny how you forget how special family is until you have them around. I miss them alot. The time we have had together has been great. What would we do without each other. God has blessed me so much over the years. I just had to share it.